I Graduated!

All good things come to an end as they say but was high school really what its cut out to be... "The best days of our lives"? Well let's put it this way- thinking about how I won't be stepping into the grounds of Lodi High does make me a little sad inside...but realizing that I finally survived four years of particularly anal teachers, painfully long (snooze-time) math classes, an overly paranoid narcotics officer that calls me 'Lindsey', close death encounters with golf-carts, and numerous surprise in class essays... is sort of a picker-upper haha. Still I'll never forget the high school experience. Right now I'm suppose to reminisce on how much I've blossomed from an awkward freshman into an all-knowing (cool) senior; who's ready for the world. Unfortunately I'm as much as of a nutcase as I was when I first entered high school. It's a little bit depressing but I'm glad that I've found friends that just accepted the way I am (though I think they just learned how to tolerate my off-baseness lol). For that I'll always cherish every memory of each and every single person I've met along the way. All the teachers that I did get along with and that guided me: Thank you (Ms. Jackie Heinrich, Mr. Wood, Ms. Muller, Mr. Goudie, and Mr. Duran). However different each of us are throughout the year, high school bonded us as a class in so many ways. For one; we are so very ready to get the hell out of high school! Hello to bigger, better things :) Regardless of where we'll be 10 years from now I only hope that everyone will find the happiness they are all looking for. More power and success to class of 2009!

Here are some pictures from my graduation:

CSF Seal Bearers

L to R: Dylan Burch, Andrew Vertegaal, and Leah Towns

Tessa Stewart and Katie Weeks

Michael Molvik

Remy du Celliee Muller

My brother

(more pictures coming soon)

A Quickie

Typical; I'm home on a friday night. Even more typical I just woke up from a nap. I have to say that I was rather angry when I woke up some 20 minutes ago. The weather is getting hotter and I'm not happy at all. Although I love the clothes that I wear in the summer...I absolutely hate being hot. I get easily irritated and grouchy. It's not pretty. Anway besides my current discontent with the climate, I am so happy that there is only 9 more school days left before I graduate!!!!!!!!!! Yeah it's pretty exciting

So let's do a little quickie shall we.
Update

- I have really bad seniorosis. Well actually I've had that since the second semester of freshman year, but this last semester of high school is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. So very bad. I'm the epitome of laziness.

- I have really bad cramps and it's pissing me of at this very moment.

- All my favorite shows (i.e: FRINGE, Smallville, Dollhouse...etc) all had their finales these past two weeks. So basically the television and I are no longer going to spend time together.

- Senior trip to Marine World is this coming Friday 05/22

- I have to remember to buy big sun hats for the stupid graduation practices!

- I want to fly back to HK this summer!

- Rube Goldberg project in Physics is due in a week and a half. DAMNIT.

- I have to work on all my missing assignments this weekend... yay



That's basically it for now, I can't wait to get the faaaaaaack out of here!



-elle

Oh yeah!



HAPPY 18th Birthday to Conor Peterson!

When You Start Sounding Like an Ingrate

Lately I found myself whining more than it is necessary. It was just yesterday that I finally finished my senior projects; speech! Then not even 24 hours later I'm already getting nauseous by own voice. Here I am 12 days before graduation and I should be celebrating. Instead I'm complaining about my failing pre-calc class (my fault), missing assignments in Duran's class, missing assignments in Psych. class, missing assignments in English class, and my Rube Goldberg Project in Physics (due 26th). So basically I should be doing my school work right now. But before I start on that pile of boring, I decided to remind myself of all the good things I do have. I forget to remind myself: "Hey life's not toooooo bad".

My Dangerous Love Affair With Micheal Molvik

Dedicated to Michael Molvik on his 18th Birthday,

(Michael trying to look like me awwwwww so sweet)

I've never been one to keep my feelings to myself and if you personally know me then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Two years ago in Biology class I was assigned to a seat next to this boy. He had blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. I looked at him thinking "hm he's kinda cute". Throughout the year we never said much to each other. Actually I never got the chance to because this guy was always asleep. I arrive in class everyday and he's already yawning or leaning back on his chair or his face hidden in his arms. The only thing I knew about this kid was that he sleeps... and that pretty much sums it up. I've heard him speak a couple of times but it was never more than a sentence. So in time I just figured that's how it's going to be and so I went through my sophomore year next to a fairly handsome zombie.

Anyway that year; on the last day of school I couldn't control myself much longer. I asked my good friend Lyndsi Higgins to give him a note with my number. That summer passed and still nothing. Junior year came along and other guys caught my attention. So naturally he slipped to the back of my mind. It wasn't until this year (my senior year) when I came into my econ. class the first day of school that I saw the same familiar face from long time ago. I won't deny that I wasn't excited. After all I did have that silly crush on him years ago and now that he looked more like a man...I was enticed.


In other words I was hot for Michael Molvik.


LOL
We began to talk and I was amazed on how fluent we were with each other's humor. I can say that he's one of the very few people that truly makes me laugh. I also appreciate his willingness to tell me things that other people don't particularly share with me. When he confides in me, I feel like he actually acknowledges that I'm not just this naive girl filled with silly nonsense. Yes he's a little strange sometimes and our conversations are often unseemly (haha) if not explicit. Even so it's all good-natured fun. To say the least I'm so glad that I have finally met him...awake.


So to cut this sentimental dedication short;

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!

Now for a sample of how appropriate we are;

Warning: Michael has a dirty mind and a bad influence on my pure innocent self. SOS!

Just for the record; I'm actually a wholesome, God-fearing girl, and do not act like this unless...well... when I'm with this guy HAHA Date: May 6, 2009

Time: approx. 1 30 pm
Location: Wright's U.S govt. class

It always seems like our conversations go tooooooooooooooooo far. Yeah...definitely too far. LMAO

I hope you had a fantasmic birthday!

God Bless you always.

your,

woman

P.S: You'll always be my one and only...even though you collect water bottles just to feed our kids (Alexa and Gerry) I still love you.

A Wholesome Prom 2009

My prom was last saturday (05/02/09) and it was amazing. I had a good time with my friends and surprisely my date was pleasant haha. The limo ride was fun and the food at Paesanos was delicious. At the dance...well people were "still grinding the shit out of each other" as Lorena Thomas puts it. Other than trying to avoid groin to butt contact with my date; I had a good time. I'm glad I went this year and I'm going to miss high school, but I'm soooooooo ready to get the fack out of here.

Anyway since I'm known to make my lists of highlights of any given festivity-- to avoid disappointing people (Josh Gums) here I go:

PROM HIGHLIGHTS

#1.) Pictorial with the parents before leaving for Prom;
It was funny to see the parents trying to capture every moment. I mean it felt nice to be so loved, but seriously did they expect us to know where to look at when they're like 20x of them flashing and calling our names. Basically they were in a frenzy and we were confused.

i.e:

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#2.) "Back up a little more honey"- mothers;
Yeah okay so we can all fall into the pool behind us LOL

i.e:
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#3.) "Girl-boy-Girl-boy- Alternation"
Who knew that this would take longer than expected...

i.e:

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#4.) James Moore;
In Lyndsi Higgin's words "What great actors and actresses!"
Yes I know that we don't usually get along but for the record he was a good date and he deserves a spot on Prom Highlights!

i.e:
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#5.) "Orgy in the back"
Okay so no one really listened to me and I wasn't really serious... hahaha
BUT we did have a good time in our limo. Everyone was fully clothed, straight, and sober. My mother who repeatedly said to me "No drugs, no alcohol, and do NOT have sex. Are you listening to me??" was very very happy to see me the following morning when I told her I was a good kid allllll night LOL
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#6.) Remy du Celliee singing & dancing NON-STOP;

"Sugar" - Remy

Dancing...

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#7.) Josh Gums convo:
It's very dark inside the limo and being the clumsy person I am I fell slantedly down the seats while I was trying to place my bouquet in the bouquet holder. Naturally the friction between my dress and the seats cause my dress to ride up... and not gracefully might I add. So in shock and embarassment I said:

"Whoa-oh! My dress is up my waist"
Gums: "What?"
"My dress went up hahaha"
Gums: "You did not just say your dress rode up your waist"

As he said this he shakes his infamous head shake. Also known as his "Shame on you, be-a-lady head shake"
Ohhhhhh that Josh is a gentleman and he's always looking out for us gals. What will I do without you :)
P.S: Sorry my hand wandered during the rides...um it was dark.

LMAO

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#8.) "Sonia Chinikamwala and her knife" (LOL)

...and "Hannah Zimmerman and her date!

That's...not Scott. LOL (below)

I will not elaborate but I know you know what I'm trying to say... hahahaha oh damn.

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#9.) Emily McConahey's 'GELS';

Again I will not elaborate but jebus woman how many times do we have to have a bathroom meeting before dinner?!?! LMAO

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#10.) James Moore flirting with FIRE;

So I know that we're not an item but is it really necessary that he mingles with his lovers in front of me LOL

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#11.) Memoirs of a Geisha (Grant)

alternate title: "I don't smile for anyone" -grumpy/emo Grant Ogata

In this video Jessica, Ian Strouf, Sonia, Brieana Krueger, Remy and I are all happy and stuffs. Then there is Grant. LMAO

Aw what's the matter? Why so angry Grant?

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#12.) "Ugh...something is rubbing up on me"

Yep that's what happens at dances, people are just jabbing at your personal bubble. Without noticing it you're heading towards the orgy-center where everyone is sinning, which is also where Mr. 'Atter' glows brightly with his red bleeper thing on his head. At one point my principal was just 3 feet away from me...awkward. Also at another point during the dance I spotted my date rigorously grinding on this sweet girl. LMAO It's definitely hilarious but I'd rather cut this segment short.

Kercia! We found her in the midst of bumping and touching...hahaha ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#13.) My Prom King and Queen BLUES

Yes Matt Clark is our prom king...surprise surprise. They are lucky that I had self-control because I was 5 seconds from running to the center and pushing Ms. Prom Queen away from my love.

LMAO **fun fact: Did you know that Jessica Judd was encouraging me to that?! Bad Jess!

Prom King and Queen:

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#14.) High fives all around for our Principal's Flashlight:

I just want to say that I applaud Mr. 'Atter' shinning his flashlight at those heathenous grinding monsters.

And no I'm not a prude but I'd rather keep that motion in the bedroom.

#15.) Invasion of Remy's Ride;

We all know what this means, so keep it to yourself (lol)

High five!

As for these love birds (Scott Denton and Moriah Lilienstein)

they left early! Way to go guys :P

#16.) "After the party...is the hotel lobby."

Well more like Sonia's house. Many thanks to Sonia's parents' wonderful breakfast and warm hospitality

YES! We arrived alive even though....um well you know hahahaha

On the couches betcchhh

#17.) RED;

Okay arrest me for not being careful! Leave it for Jessica Judd to inform everyone the color of my underwear LMAO! Whaaaaaaaaaat

#18.) Sonia and what she found:

Her face was 'WTF put that away'... priceless

nuff' said.

#19.) Are you Pure?

So...are you?

Hahahahahahaha

#20.) Josh Gums Convo 2.0;

So I mentioned that I watched this episode of Queer Eye where they demonstrated this Thai Massage. Anyway I mentioned this to everyone and Josh Gums volunteered for the sample. I was reluctant in giving him the massage because I was still in my dress.

Gums: "Okay...here show me"

as he lies down on the floor

Jessica Judd: "Do not do it carmelle"

Gums: "Come on"

Me: "I really can't"

Jessica Judd: "Come back here Carmelle. Sit here"

Me: "How about I give you my Grants' special oriental massage"

Sonia: "Oh the hurting him one LOL"
Me: "No...it was a legit one
Gums: "Just do something"

Being the good virtuous lady that I am I said I can't. So being butthurt he called me a tease LMAO seriously Josh?! It's okay though I ended up stepping on him which relieved stress and also cracking his back like crazy HAHAHAHAHA whoops.

#21.) R-Rated Marco Polo;

"Is this Grant?" -

Sonia and Jessica snickering because I was headed south of Grant's body...gross! No one even tried to stop it LMAO!

"Whoa there you're touching him somewhere inappropriate"- everyone sitting on the couch

"Now that I know where Remy is...here I come"

Upon removing my blind fold (Ian's tie) I spotted Remy and began game 2.

Target: That sexy french one muahahahahha

"Oh the way you're playing hard to get makes me want you more"

Sonia: "Run! Lefttttt (as she pushes me wtf I'm blindfolded woman!) You're so CLOSE just run straight!"

Sonia assisting me in cornering Remy HAHA

*If there is one person to blame it's...sonia! I love you Soniaaaa :DDD

My apologies to Grant. Come on I was blind-folded!

Well that's the end of my list :) Call me if I left anything out and send me the picture that goes along with it okaaaaaayyyy

Prom night is what girls prepare for months prior. It's the last chance for the guys to ask that special girl to the last big formal dance. Even after the stress of finding dresses, reminding our dates (James) what flowers to get, trying to find him (James) when he's always MIA...etc--- in the end we all had an awesome time together! I love being young! Afterall we are just a bunch of kids having the time of our lives with good company and great laughs. Cheers to more years of happiness!

Here are random videos throughout the night/morning:

Getting settled in the limo:

-elle

A New Foreign Feeling

This evening I discovered something about myself; I can't stand jealousy... well being the 'jealous' one that is. It's going to be hard to believe but I don't know how to handle it. I've coveted people who have pets and I get jealous when I see something I can't have i.e: food

BUT I've never been exactly jealous over love stuff eh... well correction more like over a BOY.

For the past month and half I realized that I have grown fond of this male-guy-person. I won't specify who...though no one really reads this so I might as well say who it is but I will keep it anonymous for effect.

Basically in addition to his fading interest towards me, I saw pictures on this guy's page that I probably shouldn't have looked at for more than 2 minutes. I swear it felt like getting kick in the face and if I knew the sensation of getting kicked in the rocks then I'd compare it to that, too. I even read the captions and comments under the photos! Y'know just to torture myself, that sort of thing. To say the least it was not the most pleasant time of my life.

Then it took me exactly 3 more minutes to realize that I was being a creeper.

I thought to myself, "Wow you're reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally lame."

Having said that -- I kept looking at the damn pictures. I wanted to get out of the room away from it but I couldn't get myself to stop looking. So I went through the phases:

First there was the being SHOCKED. Like "Oh I'm replaced" kind of shock. Then came the angry and I hit the counter with my fist very hard. Then I got even angrier because it hurt my hand. Within 10 seconds I proceeded to another emotion and I felt this crying feeling and as a result of thinking I might cry made me start to laugh hysterically. Yep alone in front of my computer like an insane person.

Faaaaaaaaaaaaack.

No worries, I did not cry. I could've if I wanted to. Anyway I'm not sure why I'm feeling this...

Do I really like him that much or was it just me being strange which is the norm OR maybe it's because he is no longer paying attention to me like before?? Hmm

Either way my point is; I am a wack job... where is my straitjacket?!


After awhile I felt this painful stabbing-throbbing sensation in my heart. I know it sounds corny, but it really did feel like that. I even talked to some close friends and they all disapprove of this little fiasco I've made for myself. Anyway my sources tell me that this shall pass.

I really really really really really really really really really really really fucking hope so because I am definitely not cut out to be the jealous type. It's so tiring and it's hurting my insides a lot.


-elle

Jonas's Ocean

I finished my senior project last friday and I can't be any happier! Here is the final log of my senior project journey. Jonas inspired me to pursue things in life that truly makes me happy.



"...He was all smiles and looked truly excited to work with me. He noticed that I was looking at the pictures on the wall and he quickly told me a quick fun fact about a certain couple that he said were now divorced. I know divorce is not a funny thing to laugh about, but i just had to laugh at how random it was. After he said this; I knew Jonas and I were going to get along.

The first thing I noticed about Jonas was his ability to engage in a conversation. While I prepared the paints; I asked him a couple of questions about Art. His mother told me that he's taking art this year and so I casually asked if he has ever painted on a big canvas before. He answered, "No, but I have Mr. Fujihara for Art and he said I'm his best student!" I wasn't surprised when Jonas answered almost all my questions on primary colors and complementary colors. He even shared his experiences with his past art projects. After we talked about Mr. Fujihara and his methods of teaching, I asked him what he'd like to paint. I said, "What would you like to paint Jonas? What is something that you love or what are you interested in?" He thought about it for awhile, but I didn't get an answer. So I asked him another question, "Well what's your favorite color Jonas?" His face lit up and he said "Blue!". So I took out all my blue acrylic paints and he quickly chose a deep dark blue, which I loved as well. He continued to tell me how much he loves the oceans. At the very moment I knew exactly what sort of abstract painting Jonas can do. I had a vision in my head and I was ready to guide him.

"It's blue like the sky and like the ocean!" Jonas was happily talking about his passion for beaches, oceans, and Lake Michigan as we painted the first layer of blue on the canvas. I actually didn't have to guide him much; his hand knew exactly how to hold the brush and he was even able to multi-task. While I was refilling his paint supply and mixing the paints he talked to me about history, music, and of course "oceans". He was truly a wonderful person and there was not a single dull moment with Jonas.

After we painted the first layer of blues on the canvas, I instructed him to stop for awhile so that the paint can dry slightly. For the time being I took the liberty to show Jonas one of my favorite art books. It's a book of collected 'micro art', I explained to him what it was and how beautiful everything in the world is. We looked through pages of zoomed in viruses, tree cells, fungi, and fish scale cells. Simultaneously I asked him what he thinks each picture looked like to him. He has so many answers and his opinions were thoughtful and in a way more beautiful than the picture. "Yes...it IS beautiful....the yellows and oranges remind me of the sunsets and the sun". Before we continued with our painting again, we came across this beautiful picture of what looked like majestic blue waves. Suddenly he said, "That looks like our painting". I looked at him and I looked at this beautiful picture and I decided that Jonas is telling me something. Instantly I felt that he wanted our project to mimic this picture. Instead of going with my plan... Jonas was guiding me.

After we painted I felt a sense of accomplishment and happiness when I saw that Jonas was smiling from ear to ear, congratulating me, my aunt (who was just taking pictures of us haha!) and himself for how nice our painting looked. I was touched by his warmness towards me. He was a such a good painting partner; more than I could ask for! While our painting was set aside to dry, we proceeded to our next activity; modeling clay. He continued to amaze me with his hilarious stories. We decided to make our favorite animals with the clay. I nearly toppled over my seat when he imitated a Sea Lion bark! I was so startled because it came out of nowhere! I showed him my imitation of a goose and a duck. He laughed and continued to outshine me with his great animal cry skills!

He told me about the cruise he went to last week with the Lodi High Band and how he played for the people on the boat. He was even reenacting how the boat swayed and nearly made him sea sick. The last time I talked to his mother and I was able to find out that he is a trombone player. Towards the end of our amazing meeting Jonas was kind enough to show me his trombone. He promised me earlier that he'd play some songs for me. He played numerous songs he played at the cruise, but Jonas surprised me with a special number. Jonas's father came in and said, "Why don't you play 'Hey Jude' for Carmelle. My eyes widened because that is one of my favorite Beatles songs ever. I had to hold back a tear or two (partly because I'm just an emotional person and I like crying) and at the same time I couldn't stop smiling.

Jonas has taught me so much within a short amount of time. His sincerity and true uninhibited cheerfulness was something I needed in the midst of all my stress and worries. I expected to learn a lot from him and I did, but more importantly he show me hope. His eagerness to learn and participate in almost anything is what many of us should be. When he told me about his future plans, I couldn't help but envy the certain passion he had in his eyes. Jonas already knows what he wants to be and his choice was not for money or fame, but what his heart truly desires. Many of us are led astray with unnecessary ambition to attain material things in life, but for Jonas he knows what true happiness is and that is enough. It's true that it's extremely difficult bringing up an autistic child. If you ask any parent with this they'll agree.

I understand that not everyone with autism can function as well as Jonas. I also know that the cure for autism is something the world is desperately waiting for. The cure would surely make everything easier, but for now while exact arrival of this cure is unknown, there is one thing certain about autism. People that are blessed enough to know or meet people with autism learn and experience the true meaning of patience, innocence, and love. We have to acknowledge the parents and the child for their true affections for one another and the bond they made even in great difficulty. That is something I am blessed enough to see for myself. With this whole experience I was both enlightened and I feel like I am inspired to do more things in this field. Like what they say, little things that you experience shape the person you become and I can definitely say that meeting Jonas has made me aware of things I cannot learn otherwise.

I'm grateful for him and his family for being so kind and supportive with my senior project. Before I left their home, I wrote a quick dedication behind our painting. I also decided to let Jonas keep our abstract 'ocean' painting since he liked it so much. I know that I wrote in one of the forms that I was going to donate it to a school in Elkgrove, but I thought Jonas and his family would like to keep it for their own enjoyment. In regards to more exciting news although my senior project end product is completed, his mother told me that they are also working on a art project together. She even asked me if I could assist them in the weeks to come and I was more than happy to agree! This is not the end of my friendship with Jonas... it's only the beginning."

-elle