When I Brought My Spider to School

I've been very ill the past 4 days and it suuuuuuucks. In the mornings I sound like a man. I can't breath through my nose and when I breathe through my mouth, I start coughing like I have SARS. My mom thinks I'm pretending...WTF? This morning I called her from the bedroom, because I was going to ask her where the cough medincine was so I can take some before I go to school. Before I could even ask her, she goes:

"What? Don't tell me you're not going to school? I told you not to go to San Francisco, now you don't want to go??"

Yeah, yeah even though I was sick I still went to SF with some friends yesterday. It was fun, but I think I just made my already frail health worse. Who cares? I STILL went to school today, so I don't know why she's being so darn sassy with me. Gad that mother gives me headaches.

Despite the effing cold and stormy weather I went to school and basically slept through first period. Then second period came along and I felt a little better. My darling Sonia let me play with her new friend; George the iphone. She's so nice to cheer me up and playing with George was definitely a plus. The warmth and happiness of second period only lasted so long because it ended so quickly. We got out of class and it was pouring outside and it was windy as hell.

I got to third period soaking wet. There were puddles everywhere. Damn booby traps. I was so wet and angry that I decided to reward myself with a little snooze. Everything was going well until I was poked really hard right in the middle of my back. I knew exactly who it was... Patrick Armstrong. That guy is unbelievable, he finds some sort of pleasure in jabbing, poking, excessively probing, and making fun of me. So I turned around and told him off:

"Ouuuuuuuuuuuch, why did you poke me?! What's wrong with you??!! You woke me up?!"

Of couse he lied and said: "I didn't f***ing touch you! What the hell are you smoking?! You're f***ing crazy, I haven't moved an inch"

I was sooo mad at him the whole period, because I thought he poked me really hard and he disturbed my sleep! Then towards the end of the period I found out...I had a dream that he poked me. In reality a girl patted me on the head and the gesture translated into a dream that Patrick poked me hard and woke me up...

LOL

I guess I feel sort of bad, but I didn't know I was dreaming. Whooops.

Fourth period; Sone and I chatted a bit with Jess over FB chat.

Lunch: Wonderful chicken sandwich.

*The good parts start here:

Physics class (fifth) was different today. Our beloved Mr. unnamed was absent and we got a sub that we least expected. It was the other physics teacher down the hall. He was a meaner-less rebellious-less-fun-less happy-more square-hardass- anal one. If it came down to it; he was like THE Nazi-Physics teacher. I mean he was scary and what he called humor was mispronouncing kids' names during role call. I mean he was bleak.

After his 'jokes' we were instructed to write notes on this video (Nicola Tesla). Like always our little corner weren't really paying attention. Kercia decided to have 4 ongoing notes simultaneously being passed around us. Then Allison found this long pipe that she used to talk to us. She would position the pipe right near our ear and whisper sweet nothings to us. Well not exactly more like saying our name in a disturbing manner...sounded more like a mating call, but whatever (hahaha)!

All of a sudden Mr. Anal-crazy-Nazi-Physics teacher came from behind us and scolded us. Then he even took the pipe away! He said in a very stern voice: "You ladies better pay attention or I'll tell your teacher...blar blar blar...etc" It was funny to see Allison a little stunned and scared! Actually Sonia and I were a little too scared of him. He was so angry he looked like he's going to snap us into halves! Dammmmmn it.

So after that little incident we chose to behave...

I miss our REAL teacher. Life is harsh; you can never get anything you want these days.

Finally it was the last period of the day...God It took long enough. I was sitting there with Kercia to my right, Sonia behind me, Mike Molvik in front of me, and I thought to myself where is my spider. So I looked for him and I searched in my pockets. When I found him; I took him out and I had an idea. I've been scaring people all day so I decided to play a trick on Michael Molvik. So I placed my black spider on his shoulder, tapped him, and said: "Hey Michael...there's a spider on you"

Funniest thing I've ever seen. He turned his head to where I was pointing and he flipped out. His scream was supressed but you can tell that he's literally convulsing in his seat trying to shake the huge (fake) spider off! The he was like "Wha wha whoa, ahhh!" He was like stunned by fear and he jerked back and forth.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

I couldn't ask for a better reaction. I love him. Then after a good minute of fighting with this fiend and it fell to the ground he realized it was a phony killer spider. Kercia, Sonia, Maria-Paz, Gerry, Alexa, and other people that witnessed it could not stop laughing. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard, I laughed so hard that I started coughing. I coughed so hard that I felt like I was going to cough up a lung. So in other words, it was great!!! Oh man Mike was a good sport though: "I thought I was going to have a heart attack"

But then after Mike calms down, all of us couldn't stop laughing and Mr. Wright got butt-hurt again and decided to move Kercia away from me. I was so sad...

So I took matters into my own hand and wrote a letter to him:

(click to see it clearer)

We'll see if Mr.Wright will listen to Jesus.

Until next time :)

-elle