Strange Things Happen When You Don't Go Through 'Drive-Through'

Well I wasn't going to make a post today... but since Gerry made fun of how I blog about my interesting life everyday; I'm going to go out of my way to bash on him on the interweb. Soooo today the patient and forever loving Alexa wasn't here to keep Gerry in check and naturally he took advantage of his scolding-free day. You give a man a little freedom and he abuses it...

So apparently they were playing 'Would You Rather' on the other side of the classroom. I was doing a little chitting and chatting with Linsey, Corinne, and Kercia when I heard:

"Would you rather get AIDs or get raped?"

I whipped my head around to see Conor, Gerry, Allison, Chloe, and Sonia laughing their butts off. Then they continued to discuss the matter at hand.

Conor: "AIDs will kill you!"
Gerry: "Yeah, I'd go with getting raped. For sure
"Conor: "Yeah it's not as bad as dying"

So that was logical until they took it to another level...

Gerry: "I mean getting raped by a guy? It's not that bad"
Everyone: "Whaaaaaat?!"
Conor: "Whoa there Gerry, what are you tryna say?! Oh no better watch out for this one!"

LOL it was hilarious. Of course Gerry didn't mean what he said. He meant that he'd rather get raped then die of AIDs and there is nothing wrong with that....Hmmm. Then they involved a name into the discussion. A name that I must must must must must keep anonymous because I don't want to get expelled for INTERNET BULLYING. So if YOU know (6th period/Wright's Class) and you're feeling an urge to say his name out loud; say it to yourselves, laugh for a bit, and just continue reading pal.

Okay so they involved a name. Let's call him...well let's see...um.. "UMM!" Okay so Conor or Gerry, I forgot who said this, but basically one of them said if it were "UMM" to rape them, they'd rather get AIDS and basically embrace death than to let "UMM" ravish their bodies...

Welllllllllllllllllll it's quite harsh, but y'know IT IS high school, and we're all just a bunch of bastards. Eventually we'll grow out of it. Hopefully. *cough Gerry cough* ( just kidding Gerry!) (not)

HA-HA!

There were more explicit talk hovering around that period but I'd rather not elaborate. I will say one thing though. Corinne would rather make love in front of millions of football fans in a crowded stadium than in the presence of her parents. Very wise choice Corinne, unnerving but wise nonetheless. That's all I have to say. (pssst Kercia chose 'stadium' too, but don't tell Mike)

LMAO

Anyway that was the end of my day, but if we rewind to lunch time... things weren't as cheery... but particularly creepier.

I had lunch with Sonia and Maria-Paz today (since Jessica is sick and Lyndsi is in Idaho for Track).I wanted taco bell riiiiiiiight and so we drive there, but sonia didn't go to Drive-Through... So I was forced to go inside...by myself. These girls, I swear. Sonia was literally pushing me out of the car telling me to beat Matt Machado to the front of the line... wtf? What?! (I did it anyway...lmao!) As I left the car all I hear is Maria-Paz shouting:

"Ask for a Bandaid! Ask for a Bandaid Carmelle! No, ask for two! Two Bandaids!!"

Alriiiiiiiiiiiight just hold on while I go inside and ask for a damn bandaid with my effing spicy chicken burrito.

So I scurried inside so I can 'beat Matt Machado'... I lined up and not 3 seconds later I meet a new friend. He was a wrinkly old man wearing a clean pressed green plaid shirt holding 3 dollar bills. He said:"Oh go on ahead of me young lady".

I tried to decline his offer but he kept telling me so I moved forward. As I moved forward the old man suddenly exclaimed:

"You smell goooood, you smell goood! I'm so glad you'll stand in front of me, because you smell so very nice! Smells good"

In my head I thought; well that's a sweet thing to say. As I flattered myself with the compliment. I noticed he was still saying it, but now he's increasing in volume.

"YOU SMELL NICE! YOU SMELL NICE"

Then he started to inch closer like he's about to vacuume me with his nose! The men in uniforms in front of me were clearly laughing. I must say I was getting a little embarassed, I just wanted to yank that old man and tell him: "Hey Mister please settle down?! Will you!?"

LOL

By the time Matt Machado and his entourage came in, my new friend decided to show me all the paper bills in his wallet...

"Look at this man right here, Mr. Washington!" "This over here is Lincoln"

Then when I least expected it he busted out this fake bill with an attractive lady woman on it. (OMG LMAO!)

The old man said: "This, this is a special one, look here"

*So awkward... I just remembered feeling very tense and scared.

As I talked to this old man; I thought to myself,

"Oh God, please don't let my future kids let me roam in Taco Bells senile and sniffing random people".

Anyway we kept talking until I reached the cashier. What happened to Matt Machado? He just stood their with his pals. He didn't even try to help me! He just watched the event unfold while he snickered and laughed with his buddies...Eventually me and Mr. Smell Good had to separate and before we did he said I was an adorable girl. AWWWW! That old man, he's too kind and soooooo truthful LOL!

At the cashier I asked for a bandaid and the guy looked at me like I was insane... and told me they didn't have any. After I got my food, I literally ran back to Sone's car and I told her about the old man...

I shouldn't be surprised but she wanted to go back inside to see this man and so we did.That's practically the highlight of my day. Y'know the usual (haha!)

Seriously though, I don't understand why I'm so prone to meeting certain perculiar strangers...

I guess it takes one to attract one.

LMAO

Before I end this lesson of the day:

Go through 'drive-thru' and do yourself a favor.
P.S: To everyone in 5th period Physics! DO NOT EVER SING ME THAT SONG ABOUT HELEN KELLER... or else your going to loose your earlobes and your jugulars will be sore as hell when I'm done with you.

Till next time!

-elle

When I Brought My Spider to School

I've been very ill the past 4 days and it suuuuuuucks. In the mornings I sound like a man. I can't breath through my nose and when I breathe through my mouth, I start coughing like I have SARS. My mom thinks I'm pretending...WTF? This morning I called her from the bedroom, because I was going to ask her where the cough medincine was so I can take some before I go to school. Before I could even ask her, she goes:

"What? Don't tell me you're not going to school? I told you not to go to San Francisco, now you don't want to go??"

Yeah, yeah even though I was sick I still went to SF with some friends yesterday. It was fun, but I think I just made my already frail health worse. Who cares? I STILL went to school today, so I don't know why she's being so darn sassy with me. Gad that mother gives me headaches.

Despite the effing cold and stormy weather I went to school and basically slept through first period. Then second period came along and I felt a little better. My darling Sonia let me play with her new friend; George the iphone. She's so nice to cheer me up and playing with George was definitely a plus. The warmth and happiness of second period only lasted so long because it ended so quickly. We got out of class and it was pouring outside and it was windy as hell.

I got to third period soaking wet. There were puddles everywhere. Damn booby traps. I was so wet and angry that I decided to reward myself with a little snooze. Everything was going well until I was poked really hard right in the middle of my back. I knew exactly who it was... Patrick Armstrong. That guy is unbelievable, he finds some sort of pleasure in jabbing, poking, excessively probing, and making fun of me. So I turned around and told him off:

"Ouuuuuuuuuuuch, why did you poke me?! What's wrong with you??!! You woke me up?!"

Of couse he lied and said: "I didn't f***ing touch you! What the hell are you smoking?! You're f***ing crazy, I haven't moved an inch"

I was sooo mad at him the whole period, because I thought he poked me really hard and he disturbed my sleep! Then towards the end of the period I found out...I had a dream that he poked me. In reality a girl patted me on the head and the gesture translated into a dream that Patrick poked me hard and woke me up...

LOL

I guess I feel sort of bad, but I didn't know I was dreaming. Whooops.

Fourth period; Sone and I chatted a bit with Jess over FB chat.

Lunch: Wonderful chicken sandwich.

*The good parts start here:

Physics class (fifth) was different today. Our beloved Mr. unnamed was absent and we got a sub that we least expected. It was the other physics teacher down the hall. He was a meaner-less rebellious-less-fun-less happy-more square-hardass- anal one. If it came down to it; he was like THE Nazi-Physics teacher. I mean he was scary and what he called humor was mispronouncing kids' names during role call. I mean he was bleak.

After his 'jokes' we were instructed to write notes on this video (Nicola Tesla). Like always our little corner weren't really paying attention. Kercia decided to have 4 ongoing notes simultaneously being passed around us. Then Allison found this long pipe that she used to talk to us. She would position the pipe right near our ear and whisper sweet nothings to us. Well not exactly more like saying our name in a disturbing manner...sounded more like a mating call, but whatever (hahaha)!

All of a sudden Mr. Anal-crazy-Nazi-Physics teacher came from behind us and scolded us. Then he even took the pipe away! He said in a very stern voice: "You ladies better pay attention or I'll tell your teacher...blar blar blar...etc" It was funny to see Allison a little stunned and scared! Actually Sonia and I were a little too scared of him. He was so angry he looked like he's going to snap us into halves! Dammmmmn it.

So after that little incident we chose to behave...

I miss our REAL teacher. Life is harsh; you can never get anything you want these days.

Finally it was the last period of the day...God It took long enough. I was sitting there with Kercia to my right, Sonia behind me, Mike Molvik in front of me, and I thought to myself where is my spider. So I looked for him and I searched in my pockets. When I found him; I took him out and I had an idea. I've been scaring people all day so I decided to play a trick on Michael Molvik. So I placed my black spider on his shoulder, tapped him, and said: "Hey Michael...there's a spider on you"

Funniest thing I've ever seen. He turned his head to where I was pointing and he flipped out. His scream was supressed but you can tell that he's literally convulsing in his seat trying to shake the huge (fake) spider off! The he was like "Wha wha whoa, ahhh!" He was like stunned by fear and he jerked back and forth.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

I couldn't ask for a better reaction. I love him. Then after a good minute of fighting with this fiend and it fell to the ground he realized it was a phony killer spider. Kercia, Sonia, Maria-Paz, Gerry, Alexa, and other people that witnessed it could not stop laughing. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard, I laughed so hard that I started coughing. I coughed so hard that I felt like I was going to cough up a lung. So in other words, it was great!!! Oh man Mike was a good sport though: "I thought I was going to have a heart attack"

But then after Mike calms down, all of us couldn't stop laughing and Mr. Wright got butt-hurt again and decided to move Kercia away from me. I was so sad...

So I took matters into my own hand and wrote a letter to him:

(click to see it clearer)

We'll see if Mr.Wright will listen to Jesus.

Until next time :)

-elle

Torn Between Two Lovers...Feeling like a Pimp?

I woke up fairly happy this morning. I actually slept before my usual 1:00 am the night before and I've got to say that I'm pretty proud that I was able to restrain my compulsive need to stay on Facebook. Anyway I got up without a fuss and headed towards the bathroom. My shower was wondrous, but getting out is the worst part since I was shaking like I had epilepsy. I got moisturized, dressed and I called to Abi asking if it was raining outside. She said yes, but I wasn't compelled to change my clothes. I thought to myself, "Eh, my umbrella can take a little rain."

Wrong.

I knew something was terribly wrong when I opened the front door and a gust of wind felt like an angry water hose. I was wet. Then not even halfway down the driveway it started to hail. My umbrella? Completely useless since the rain/pellets of ice were blowing and spraying from all the sides! Yeah, my morning was the best!

I arrived at school miserable and not ready for all the tests that awaited me. I just sighed a sigh and cried a little inside, which I do often.

The day only got better when I received a big blue 'pimp cup' from Justin Kah during 4th period:

Justin: "Here you go"
(Me): "Oh! Thank you! Is this my Valentine's gift?"
Justin: "Say that again and I'll give it to Sonia."
(Me): "...Geez, fine thanks for the... 'friend' gift, Justin-friend"

Seriously, I think he's fighting his true feelings for me. I told him many times, "Hey Justin, don't fight it. No words, just feelings" as I placed my finger to his lips. Frankly the feeling is mutual because he tips my desk, draws scandalous genitals on my hand, and hurts me daily. Now, that's affection.

*After lunch I encountered ANOTHER problem.

"I know right, my problems with all my men..."

Fifth period came along and a certain birdy told me a certain Carly-Homewrecker made home-made pink frosted cookies to MY Matt. I flipped out. I was so furious that I took a piece of paper out (nearly gave me a paper cut since I was so angry and strong) and began to write a hateful, hateful, very hateful love letter filled with hateful words. I told him exactly what I thought about her stupid effing cookie (No offense to Carly, I like her as a person. Just not a person who gives cookies to Matthew). Then I marched towards him and chucked the effing letter (with a chocolate kiss to add weight) at him! God...and because he's Matt Clark, he found it adorable and smiled his smile that nearly melted my heart. Damnit you sexy guy, you!

The day only got better during Physics when our teacher threw balloons at us like it was confetti. We were all, "What the heck just happened?"

(It's really okay, because we're use to being clueless in that class)

Anyway the plan was that we were going to shock each other (again) and apparently use the balloons to... well we're not exactly sure, but a few of us started using the air nozzle and filling the balloons up to its limit. My first balloon tragically died because a certain sadistic cheerleader (Sone, Betch! I love you ) decided it was funny to pop it. Then Matchew Clurk decided it was romantic to burst my yellow one with a tack (he's lucky that he's good-looking because I was 5 seconds from kicking him in the rocks). Benjamin started running around with a fake sword he found somewhere in the classroom demanding me to duel him like a samurai (WTF). Conor Peterson on the other hand found it amusing to throw tennis balls around at random, so he can prove his strength and agility. Speenster (Spencer Rhodes) was just... I don't know rubbing his strawberry blonde locks on a balloon?

Sonia and I were supposed to be studying for the U.S government test next period, but we just couldn't help but join in all the chaos. Our teacher? Well in all the excitement he was filling up a balloon with gas and lighting the soaked acetone string on fire. So basically he was busy endangering his life. Again. You've got to love that rebel of a teacher.

Of course if I were to tell you when my day was at its highest, then I'd say 6th period. Hands down. Not only was it funny that I failed the test, but I received something extra special. There I was sitting in my seat oblivious and drawing something stupid on some scrap of paper, when Mr. Wright appeared out of nowhere.

He said, "Special delivery” in his most amused and cupid-y voice ever. All of a sudden there was a pink rose and an envelope on my desk. Confused, excited, and slightly flustered I said, "I'm pretty sure this is illegal Mr. Wright".

(Haha get it? You know since he's a teacher and a teacher at McNair was recently fired due to being accused of sleeping with a student. I thought it was pretty clever and it correlated with the present event)

Uh...anyway Mr. Wright continued to say, "It's from Matt Clark". Of course I was smart enough to know otherwise. I mean come on, as handsome and studly as Matt is; he's a little slow on the affection department. I was curious and very shocked. In the back of my mind I wondered, "Wow who is seriously crazy enough to give me a Valentine?!"

The room started urging me to open the envelope. I looked at the envelope and one look at the handwriting; I knew exactly who it was.

Inside was the sweetest and cutest card ever. The message was short, but clearly sincere. I was so overwhelmed that it seemed unreal. I was as shocked as everyone in the room. I didn't realize that there were 20 people screaming at me asking me who gave me this romantic surprise. I simply said,"Josh Mellor” and the room literally started clapping.

Josh Mellor: (Noun) An extremely smart person, brain-child. Cute and sweet; comes with glasses. Also my ex-husband, my former partner in life and group tests. Loves long walks on the beach and Margarita nights. He yearns for intellectual conversations (which he did not satisfy when we were together). Thus our little tussle and failed marriage.

*That was a little background. LMAO

It was hilarious. I heard a few guys saying, "Way to go Josh!" The girls on the hand... let's just say I found myself not holding the card anymore. They were as shocked as I was. It was certainly an amazing way to end the School's Official Valentine's Day. From across the room I said my thank you to him, but then THE happy couple-- Gerry and Alexa thought it was only appropriate that I give him a hug. So I got up, walked to the other side of the class and hugged him (awkwardly as Esteban recalled it). I remembered that he was extremely red (so cute! Haha) and I can say the same for myself. I felt a little self-conscious myself (Haha)! It was like elementary school over again plus 30 bystanders witnessing the occasion and a teacher posing as cupid.

Haha, so strange it felt a little like Gossip Girl at Constance Billard when people were texting Matt the news. LMAO! Oh High school.

(not exact quotes but close?)
Sonia Chinikamwala texted him saying: "Josh just gave Carmelle a rose!!!"
In response Matt said, "Josh?! What??? Well I'm not as romantic as Josh...I guess I'll still have 'Carlina'."

Then of course dearest Conor Peterson who loves to make hilarious and slightly explicit jokes says, "So what are YOU going to give him tomorrow?"



LOL.



Oh man... I'm no Mother Teresa to pretend that I did not understand his HYSTERICAL joke.


Wow, really Conor?...Jerk. (Haha!)

Then to stir things up even more, Gerry Siliverdis found it amusing to discuss my future plans with my newfound lover. He was interrogating me and his sweet love-- Alexa Kauffroath asked, "Where does this leave you and him? Are you going to call him? Is there a future?" (I've got to say she's really thorough. No wonder Alexa is the only one that tamed Gerry LOL). Exhausted by the excitement and teasing I just said, "Yeah, we're probably getting married. Omg let's double date! Oh nooo, omg a triple date with Mike and Kercia! You know what why don't we add Conor and his girlfriend, too?!”

Hahaha. Gaaaad!

It was as if I did some sort of Transformers group call, because Corinne, Kercia, Sonia, Maria-Paz, and Maddie were literally on my desk. All of them had a set of questions for me. It was funny to see them get fired-up. Haha oh well they're cute and I love them! Especially Corinne who's obviously eager to see what Harrison planned for tomorrow! Even Mike Molvik found it extremely amusing to see me a little frazzled. Though I knew he was ultra keen on listening to our little girl chit-chat. Who are we to stop this blue-eyed suave man? Not me.

LOL After the girl-huddle-meeting, which Mike was a part of- Kercia Brakel, Maddie Hiddle, Mike Toon, and Corinne Dickey attacked the white board:

Carmelle + Josh = Love

Oh they even added a drawing of a little tree with the both of us kissing. Yeah kissing on a tree. Very original guys Haha.

Jokes and taunting aside, Josh's gesture was nothing short of amazing and perfect, because he did it to be an extremely sweet guy. For that, I've got to say anyone who is lucky enough to be his significant other is one lucky girl. So even though in the beginning of the semester he replaced me with three guys (Randeep, Justin, and Ryan) and ended our 6th period imaginary marriage... I guess this was the compensation for my entire heart break.

LOL

To end this all I've got to say is that today was a pretty damn good Friday The Thirteenth on my side of the world. Haha!

So to everyone who shared this romantically epic day of my life:

Have a Happy Valentine's Day!

Love,
elle

(yes, I'm shameless enough to take pictures... LOL if I'm going to document this occasion, I'm going all out)

Ever happiness to:

Mike and Kercia, Harrison and Corinne, Conor and his lady love; Bre Herrick, Matt Hertzfeldt and Lorena, Mike Molvik and Sam, and Aaron and Maddie

*disclaimer by happiness I mean everything that is legal and in good-natured fun. Remember ABSTINENCE is key!

The Peruvian is Finally Legal

Last saturday night (Jan 31, 2009) was Maria-Paz's surprise party at Sone's place. I've got to say Sonia was both the best and the worst hostess ever and I say this with great affection haha! I've got to give it to her though; the decorations were amazing, the food was great, and of course she managed to gather the herd of kids to her house. Though I can live without a few of the ones that came... *cough Grant and his guitar*cough... and maybe if Ben wasn't invited then that hard, heavy plastic Catch-Phrase-thinger-bopper wouldn't have gotten chucked at me with great amount of force. But anywayI enjoyed the company :)

Here are the top 10 highlights of the night (in no particular order):

1. Upon Jessica's and my arrival we noticed a reckless creeper of a driver assaulting the sidewalk with his MINI Cooper.

Jessica: "Omg who's that behind us?! Get back in the car!"

Me: "What! Who is it?! Ahh what is it? A creeper?"

Nearly closed the car door on my leg!

*Little did we know... it was just Benjamin. Damn it Ben! LMAO

2. I had a Freudian slip.

Shortly after I met Moriah's current boyfriend Sonia shushed everyone claiming M.P was at the door. So in the dark everyone was teasing each other, giggling, and what not. Josh kept yelling: "Stop feeling me up elle" So like a good sport I played along and responded: "Shut up Josh, you know you like it...come closer" While Sonia continued to nag. In all the mayhem I suddenly said, "Kiss me Scott!" When I meant to say JOSH. To say the least the whole room bursted into laughter and Moriah being the darling that she is says, "Fine but just this one time." Good thing it was just Grant along with Ian and not the birthday celebrant that came into the kitchen!

3. Favorite Catch Phrase Guesses:

While playing Catch Phrase (game) with my friends I found out how each one of their minds worked LOL

Josh: "The capital of Michigan"

Moriah: "Detroit!"

---------------------------------------

Josh: "Michael Phelps won many gold medals in swimming at the...."

Me: "Swimming!"

Josh: "What no! What the f*** swimming?! Michael Phelps won gold medals in swimming in THE swimming?!"

Me: "Hahaha...I meant Olympics!"

---------------------------------------

Josh: "You bring this to school everyday"

Me: "Backpack!"

Sonia: "Pencils! Erasers! Paper"

Moriah: "A sword"

Josh: "What?! Oh god from now on I'm staying away from you Moriah..."

---------------------------------------

Me: "This is what Sonia got from Diego last night after the basketball game!"

Sonia: "Ohhh I know this!"

Me: "Yes you do, can I use it?"

Ben: "Herpes!"

Sonia: "Ugh that's disgusting eww!"

Me: "Hahahaha....it's a piggy-back ride you moron!"

4. To other people this may be hilarious I GUESS:

When Ben threw the catch-phrase clicker-bopper at me when I wasn't looking.

5. Grant's Wonderful Performances

(From the moment he brought his guitar in until he left the party with it around Midnight!)

*He's amazing! Isn't he???

6. Hannah and Josh laying on the floor looking like a happy couple!

7. Story time with Josh:

The story is a little personal, but the gist of the hilarity was when Sonia kept interupting him and you could see he was about to back hand her back to Cheer camp... LOL

The heated convo. went something like this:

Sonia: "Omg, remember the time..."

Josh: "Sonia shut the f*** up and let me finish my f***ing story"

Sonia: "I'm sorry, go ahead. I'll stop"

*of course she continues to have LOUD side discussions

Josh: "Seriously, seriously now Sone?"

Sonia: (whispering) "Should I just raise my hand up or something?"

8. Tag in The Dark-

What's funny is that when I counted to 20 on top of the stairs, Sonia walked towards me and looked at me like I wasn't suppose to see her?! WTF?! Then I came down to find them exactly where they were... bastards LMAO except for Josh who managed to hide under the sofa cushions...

9. Blind-Folded Tag

"You're not allowed to touch Scott!"

-Says everyone in the room

And Finally...

10. Scattered, Senseless Conversations Beside Mrs. Field's Cookie Cake:

"I should've brought my Jackass Movie" -Grant

"Whoa look at that lighter!" -Moriah

"Don't be camera shy Ian, you got nice CHEEEESELED face" -*me and my sporadic moments when I have an accent! LOL

"I'm not chiseled, am I?" -Ian on being licked because he's chiseled

*Oh gad I'm annoying... we're a buncha silly high school kids! LOL

So all in all it was a joyous occasion with laughter and good company. Jessica, Moriah, Scott, and I left around 11 pm and before we left Grant was still singing. LOL

That guy is great.

Anyway...

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MARIA-PAZ! I LOVE YOU!

*** Some pictures to end this awesome blog haha!

-elle